In high school, we had to do a group project on the subject of slavery. I remember saying something to the effect that I wasn't racist. A girl in the group told me that I was, because when I see a black man I don't see him as a man.... I see him as a black man. That I may not want to admit that, but it was true. 

That did not sit well with me. It felt like an accusation, and I was so angry that I didn't even respond. That never left me because I knew I wasn't going to allow that to be true. I wanted to look at people in a colorblind manner. And I always thought I had. I didn't want to see skin color when I saw people. I wanted to see them for them. 

Until a couple weeks ago. I read a blog posted by a black woman who wrote about racism and the church. I've always loved this woman's wisdom and even applied it to my own life when it came to certain topics. But this blog hit different. While I love and appreciate every word she said, it forced me to confront something that I never realized. It forced me to admit and realize that I hold racial bias. That doesn't particularly make me racist, but I do hold biases and stereotypes. Not just against the black community. 

The same day I read that blog, I had a conversation with a coworker about these convictions. That coworker is a black woman. The conversation started with actually talking about who we were and things we like. A getting to know each other stage. And in that conversation, she asked my thoughts about what happened with George Floyd. I gave her my honest thoughts, but this particular subject opened the door for me to share my convictions with her. I admitted everything that blog made me realize and we really dug into the conversation deeper. She accepted my admission with such grace and told me she understood it. I won't lie, it was nice. In a sense, it felt like a weight off my shoulders. 

But the conversation stuck with me for a few days. I was so grateful that this woman showed me such grace and understanding, but I started to wonder.... was it because of what I said, or because of who I was. We had created safe spaces for us to be open. There was no malice or tension. And we knew each other already. Did she show me grace because she knew me? 

I don't know. 

I've been wondering what I can do to make a difference in this fight for justice. What can I do to make my voice heard? What can I do to show this community of hurting and angry people that their voices matter? And I made a decision. If I am going to use my voice to talk about it, to stand up for them, I'm going to listen first. And I've started to. I've started listening to these voices who feel oppressed and scared. I hate to admit it, but in listening, I'm learning all the things I can say and do differently in my everyday life. Things I never realized I was allowing myself. 

My heart has been grieving these past few days. I've cried many times. If I want to see racism erased, it has to start with me. It has to start with things I shouldn't do or say, and things I should do and say. If I want to see better than I have to do better. 

The words of that classmate may have been true, but I want it to be true as well. If I can't look at someone and see the color of their skin, I am undermining the person they are. We are all different. We are all unique. We are all individual. We are all one of a kind. I want to see every single person for all of that. 

Including their skin color. 

Today has been a heavy day.

I've been crying on and off throughout it. Waking up and reading the news of Chester Bennington kinda hit hard. The first time I ever listened to Linkin Park was on a drive to Denny's with a friend of mine. I was 20 years old. I remember being squeezed in a truck while she belted out the words during Crawling. I knew then that I loved that song. That band. That voice.

I remember being in love and listening to the words to In The End, and playing the song for the one who broke my heart.

It's rare for a celebrity death to affect me to the point of crying. And I've been crying today. Because for a man to sing songs that speak things I have felt at times to take his own life, it hits hard.

We can't possibly know what was going through his head when he decided to do what he did. It may have been impulse, it may have been thought out. But I do know that when you reach that point of despair, it can be hard to break out of. There are a lot of people out there who brush it off. They don't understand the struggle.They don't understand the science of how the brain operates in those moments. And because of that, suicide is something that people get angry at or disregard because they don't get it.

Some days, it does try to take over my thoughts. There are times when it's easy to push it away, and other days I fight like hell. Yes, it is that possible to reach that point of absolute hopelessness. But if you don't get it, you probably shouldn't say anything about it. It's fine if you don't understand it. Just don't brush it off.

Again, we don't have the answer as to why he did it. I believe it's okay to feel angry, or hurt, or confused. But the truth is, there are people around us who still struggle. People who feel hopeless and lost and don't know what to do. We have the capacity to be that safe place. To encourage them to seek help. To love them like crazy and show them they matter. There have been many people I've met that aren't used to someone reaching out to them. They're not used to someone valuing them in incredible ways. They're not used to having people fight for them. And we have the ability to do all of these things for them.

Yes, it's hard at times. Yes, it takes work. Yes, sometimes you have to reach down and remember that you value them. Because of everything that exists in this world, people are not replaceable. There is only one you. There is nobody else in the world that is exactly like you. Of the billions upon billions of people that have ever existed, you are one of a kind. Your neighbor, your friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, mom, dad, brother, sister, son, daughter, and stranger are all one of a kind. Nobody has ever been exactly like you. And nobody else ever will be.

If you ever forget that you have purpose, let me just tell you that we need you. Others need you. And in that, it is our duty to show others the same; that we need them. You, and them, matter. We all matter. We are all important to someone. And there might be that one person that needs you in order for them to pull through.

Learn to listen. Learn to see. Learn to act. Do what it takes. Jobs, homes, things...... they can all be replaced. But you, or anyone else on this earth. never can.

The Story Never Ends There

A few years ago, I was in a really dark place. I was lost in a sin that felt overpowering and uncontrollable. Night after night I begged and screamed prayers in a drunken haze. Sometimes those prayers were for death. I knew God was listening, but I was getting tired of my own repetition because I kept going back to that sin. I knew I needed out, and He was the one to make it happen.

Present day, I am no longer in that place and I am ever so grateful. I may have felt like there was no way out at the time, but God was always there and put into motion a way out.

Looking back, I see where God was at work. I felt so helpless and didn't get the answer I had hoped for. But He didn't leave me there; He loved me too much.

I had the chance to read an advance copy of a book called Made Well by Jenny Simmons. This book reveals the many ways healing happens even when the cure we're begging for doesn't. While reading, I was reminded of how I felt in this dark place, but I can look at it now and see where God was working His healing. But it wasn't as if she was offering for me to look at it; she spoke exactly what I was dealing with.

"Not seeing a way forward or knowing how to deal with feelings that fester just below the surface of an unwell heart, a sick person will go to great lengths to numb the pain. But when a person pleads for escape routes, what they are often pleading for is a catalyst toward healing. A way forward. We want to be well; we just don't always know how to get there"

That was me. And until I read that part, I never thought anyone could explain it the way I did. Nobody ever expressed the exact hell I was in so perfectly.

But the story doesn't end there. That's what I love about Jenny's words. She connects so well to the heart of people who read her words, that it feels like you're sitting and talking over coffee. Actually, it feels more like you're having the coffee while Jenny pours into you. At least that's how it feels for me.

Made Well shares stories of pain and heartbreak from her own personal life, the lives of family, and of friends with just enough room to see where healing has leaked in. It would be hard to read this book without walking away knowing you are loved by a God who cares about the broken areas in our lives. It would be hard to read this book without feeling like you're catching up with an old friend through laughter and tears. It would be hard to read this book without wanting to show up for others when they are hurting. That is exactly what this book gives.

I'm highly recommending this book because my goal in life is to love others well. That's exactly what I feel in reading Jenny's words; that she loves me well. I've no doubt that anyone reading will feel the same.

This book releases October 4th, but you can pre-order a copy at www.madewellbook.com
When you pre-order, you have the chance to sign up for some freebies as well as having a chance to win other cool stuff. But if you ask me, the book itself is a wonderful prize by itself.

Anyone who knows me knows that when I love something, I'm going to talk about it. I love Jenny. I love Jenny's words. I love Jenny's heart. And most of all, I love the same healing God that Jenny talks about. Give the book a read. I dare you.

Dear Perry,

I've never attended your church in my life. In fact, I live on the opposite side of the country from where your church is that. I did see you once, though. I was living in Las Vegas at the time and I saw you tweet about being in town. I was a bit excited hoping you'd let us all know where you were at or what you were doing. Then you mentioned speaking at a church in town I'd never heard of. So naturally, I looked it up and planned on attending.

You see, I loved listening to your podcasts. In fact, it was your teaching on anxiety that made the second biggest impact in my life. You were beat by Plumb by about ten years. It was that teaching I learned to trust that God is good. No matter what is going on or falling apart, I've held on to that knowledge with every thread of my being. I always want to. I hope I always do.

I've never attended your church but I've listened to just about every teaching of yours available through podcast. You were my favorite pastor to listen to. You still are. It is for this reason that I want to say I'm still on your side. I'm praying that you give yourself enough grace to overcome the disappointment you feel toward yourself.

Not long ago, I went through a period where I depended on alcohol to fill the void of loneliness I was feeling. That went on for a while, and there was only one person who was really on my side through it all. She waited for me to win the race.

I've no doubt there are tons of people who love you and still are waiting for you to win the race. I've no doubt there are tons of people on your side. For that, I know that my voice is a small one. But even as a small voice, I'm still going to use it to tell you that I love you. I'm praying for you and your family. I'm sad to see you no longer be the senior pastor of your church. It's weird, but even though I'm not a member, I still feel the effect of it. But I still love you. God has never been short on His grace toward me, and believe me, I've definitely needed it. So there is no way on earth I can't withhold it from someone else.

You've made a huge difference in my life with your teachings. When you talk about God's love and grace and Jesus, I seriously feel the passion in your voice. There's only been one pastor before you that I've listened to that left that impression on me. It's the kind where if you tell me God loves me, I can't help but fully believe it. It is in listening to you where I've learned to look at Jesus more and what He has to say on everything. I've learned to listen to Him more.

I'm sure in the coming days, I'm going to cry at times. As I've mentioned, I feel the loss too. But every gift from God is a good and perfect one, even in the ending of a season. And He takes even the stupid things we do and uses it for good for us that believe. I believe these things. Not only in my life, but for your life too. I'm sad to see you go, but everything does have it's time.

I'm praying for you though. Because believe it or not, you've made quite the difference. I'm with all those other people who are on your side. We're waiting for you to win the race.


Love always,
Julia from Phoenix, Arizona

I've been meaning to write, but my heart and head have been all over the place. When word broke that a coworker passed away onsite last night, I felt it was finally time.

Love.

You know, I look at social media posts and comments all the time, and it occured to me that we still have no idea what love really is. I like to think I show it. I like to think I'm known for it. I've traveled across the country just to show that I care. I've traveled to the next cities over to show one person that I appreciate them. I've spent countless hours and dollars just to reach out. I also have to fight the pride that comes with that when things don't work out. But no matter how much I have done, or will do, I still have no idea what love is in its purest and perfect form. It's a subject I write about a lot, but I'm still learning it. And judging from said posts and comments, it's clear that a lot of us don't. And I hate to call that out, but it's true.

We talk about what the perfect guy, or girl, is like all the time. But all that's really doing is saying we want these qualities and it doesn't matter who it comes from. We value the actions more than the person. We think that what the "right person" offers is more valuable than who they are. Better yet, we are more concerned with having a partner than we are deepening our friendships.

And then we read about a tragedy and fall apart. We talk about how great that person was or how much of a difference they made. But I've noticed that it's only that time when we talk about the difference being made. It's only in tragedy when those people are mentioned or recognized. We talk about how awesome that person was AFTER they've passed away and never when they were alive.

I get that's not always the case, but from what I see it's mostly what happens. I admit, I'm guilty of it, too.

Tragedies suck.

When I read the news about Christina Grimmie, I cried for like an hour. And I would tear up thinking about it for the past week. I knew nothing of the girl. I've only seen a few covers she did, but I knew I loved them. There were countless other people who actually followed her and knew what she was up to.

Again, tragedies suck. They're painful. They're hard. We have a really hard time dealing with them because they're unexpected. We're much more at peace when we know it's coming...... but when we don't, it's much harder to deal with. They leave us asking why. They leave us sad and angry. They leave us fallen apart and broken. And they're inevitable. Anything can happen at any day at any time. And there is so much we take for granted because of how unexpected they are.

And here is where love also kicks in. Has your heart ever grieved upon reading tragic news about a stranger? I will tell you now that if your answer is no, you haven't truly loved. We have all painted this picture of love in a beautiful setting, but that is only one face of it. Expecting love wrapped up in a perfect bow is a horrible way of viewing it. It's messy and chaotic and sacrifical and hard.

Love is hard. We think it's easy and in some settings it comes naturally, like with parents and children. Sure, it's easy to make time and invest in those areas. But if we're not doing it for strangers, people who've hurt us, or people who disagree with us, then we're really just keeping love in a box. It exceeds beyond just that wrapped up box.

Love is sacrificial. It means that you have to stop just looking at yourself and see the people in front of you. It means meeting needs instead of your wants. If someone is hungry, do you feed them? If someone is thirsty, do you give them a drink? If someone is hurting, do you wash their wounds? If someone is cold, do you offer them your coat?

Love casts out fear. It makes me sick to think that our nation's leaders want to shut out the land of the free to those who have been misplaced. Those who have lost their families to terrorists or war. Those who have nothing but the clothes on their backs. They get shut out because of a few bad apples. Guess what? You will always have that no matter what community you are a part of. Christians, LGBT's, Muslims, African Americans, and so on and so forth. It doesn't matter. There's always going to be someone out there that gives the wrong impression of everyone else in these. And yet, we cower in fear when those bad apples pop up.

I believe Jesus is the answer. In Him only do we find perfect peace, perfect rest, and perfect life. He guaranteed there will be trouble in this world. Why? Because sin exists. But it's only through Him that we can continue on, because He is the one who puts us back together when we fall apart. His heart breaks with ours. His heart hurts with ours. He didn't promise to provide an exit plan for all the crap we face. He promised Himself. And before we ask why He just doesn't prevent the crap, let's think about what we really want through it all......

We all want someone to be there for us. To be there when it all hits the fan. To stick around when we mess up. We all want someone to never leave us. That's what He offers to be.

So when you're sitting there thinking you have it all together and understand love. I'm going to tell you that maybe you should take a good long hard look at what love really is.

I'm guilty. I'm still learning about it. And crazy enough, I even learn about what it looks like when tragedy hits.

I absolutely love to give gifts. I love that I know what simple gifts to pick out, but I really love spending time and thought on giving the perfect gift. I'd like to say I don't know why, but that isn't true. Actually, I realized the exact reason why very recently.

I believe good gift giving is an act of loving well.

One of the best gifts I've ever been given was a cd. I was probably 18 at the time, and it was a Christmas gift from my best friend at the time. I remember using a gift certificate I was given to get her an address book. I could ave gotten her something different, but I remembe her saying she needed one. So, I regifted a gift to get her gift. She, on the other hand, was only given a certain amount to spend. I opened up the wrapping to the only cd by my favorite group that I didn't have. She knew I loved them. She knew I didn't have all their cd's. She took a guess and hoped that was the one I didn't have. And she was right. I remember that I couldn't believe it. I was so blown away that she spent a good chunk of her Christmas spendings on the one thing I really wanted. I would have loved it still even if it was a cd I already had. I would have loved it because she knew I loved the group.

I have seen a lot of posts that ask ladies the question if they would accept a marriage proposal if the ring was given out of different scenarios. I actually like to see what people say about it, and the majority say yes because the ring shouldn't matter. For me, it does matter. I happen to not like yellow gold. If a man wants to convince me to spend my life with him, I would hope that he wouldn't ask me with a yellow gold ring. Having a ring doesn't matter, but the actual ring does. I'm not a gold digger, but my man better know me enough, and pay attention enough, to know what I like and don't like.

I believe a requirement for good gift giving is loving well... and in order to do that, you have to pay attention. You can know I like a million things... which I practically do. But I know you pay attention when you know the things that really matter, and you respect it. You don't have to understand why I love it, you just have to respect it. I don't have to understand why you love something... I just have to respect it. There are gifts I've given that I would never get for myself. I'm sure the same rings for you and gifts you've given. But what matters is that attention has been paid.

You listen, you watch, and you remember. You get to know the person by doing these three things. Almost every detail matters because it all blends together. I never really understood that details matter until I started following a specific artist/author who is all about details. I started paying attention to how much the God of the universe paid attention to the matters of my heart. The gifts He's given me are the ridiculous ones I've asked for. Just by observing that, I learned more of just how much He loves me, how much the things that matter to me matter to Him, and how much He's not so farfetched that you can't ask for something ridiculous.

Listening matters. Paying attention to small details matters. Getting to know a person matters.

So if you want to get the perfect gift for them, stop worrying about what they might like and see them for who they really are. It makes all the difference in the world.

I used to think the greatest story ever told was that Jesus died for my sins. And well, it was. My sins were many, and when I learned about sin itself, it was the greatest story. But the thing about that, is that it was a closed story. If the story of salvation ended with Jesus' death, we would have to earn our way to eternity with Him from the moment we chose to follow Him.

But thankfully, He knew well that we are unable to do so. We are still fallen and live in a sinful nature. We are prone to it. So the story continues.

The greatest story ever told was that He died, but rose again conquering all that death represents.... which is sin.

Jesus was given all authority in Heaven and earth, and with that He chose to wash feet and go to the cross. He chose to lower Himself when He came to earth. He chose to go even lower and die a sinners death. Having all authority, He could have claimed His throne when He was brought before the chief priests and scribes and Pilate. At any moment during His beatings and mockings being spit on, He could have taken His rightful place that He stepped out of. But He chose to go to the cross.

We are all living in places where we think we know what love is all about. But we haven't a clue. We don't like to be told what to do so we challenge authority all the time. But here is Jesus taking on all that we deserve, and He's taking it on obedience and love. Two of the things we don't like to be challenged with.

So He gave His life. And He rose again. He defeated death so we don't have to face it. He defeated sin so we don't have to be bound by it. And though we continue to do it, and though we continue to be prone to it in this world, it does not have victory over us. Jesus let Himself be covered will all of our sin, and He broke free from it breaking the chains. HIs resurrection broke the shackles off of our hands and feet. The empty tomb is proof that we can put those sins to death every single waking day. The empty tomb shows that His forgiveness stands faithful and just. And it covers us.

The empty tomb is the greatest story of all.

I've been watching a lot of Once Upon A Time lately. I've seen all of season one and part of season two when they first showed... but didn't really watch after that. I don't usually pick back up watching a show after I pretty much give up on it... so I don't know how it happened that I wanted to see it again. But I did, and now I am. And I love it just as much as I did when I first started watching.

But this isn't about that show. I'm laying in bed watching it on netflix and drinking tea when I read a fact about how being good at flirting is more effective than being good looking. Interesting. It reminded me of how I once told a friend I would challenge her to a duel of who can more numbers in a bar. I've no doubt I would win. She argued it and really tried to press the duel to happen.. but I declined. While it sounds like fun, it's not something I'd really engage in. I'm not out there trying to break hearts or be heartbroken. I'm not out there trying to deceive anyone on account of winning a contest. But it still remains that I've no doubt that I'd win.

That's not me being arrogant... that's me being honest. While my friend has the flirt factor in her favor, I like to say I have natural charm in mine. I don't need to pretend or spit game to get somewhere... I'm just myself really. And I've gotten a lot of what I want from just doing that. You see, I know how to work people. I know what to say to them, how to be with them, how to put myself in their life. And I'm good at it. Why? because I'm a manipulator.

No, that doesn't mean I'm that way with people... I'm saying I know how to be that way with people. I love people. I love because Jesus loves them... and because He loves me. So my love for others isn't a fake or seducing one. If it was, you'd probably end up feeling quite taken advantage of after a while.

I've been able to get what I want from a lot of different people a lot of times. I know how to seduce people into giving me what I want. It's happened more times than I'm wanting to admit... which, one is just that. You'd be surprised, but then again... you might not be if you knew me long enough. Again, I'm not proud of it.

So why am I telling you all this? Because I was posting to instagram when I typed out how I loved myself. I don't think I've ever plainly said that before.... actually, I don't think I've ever actually said that before. But it's true. It's weird to say it because I always thought it sounded arrogant and ridiculous to say it.

I love myself.

It's actually not as hard to swallow as I thought it would be. If I saw someone being the manipulator that I can be, I probably wouldn't like them much. But I'm commanded to love others.

The point I'm trying to make here is that, I love myself even though I can be awful. Here I am letting you in on this secret sin of mine that I've put into play many, many times. I'm forgiven of it.. and I'm still loved in spite of it. And I want to love the way God loves.... and that includes even loving myself.

For a big part of my life, I hated myself. I hated what I did... and I hated myself for doing things... and because I hated myself for doing them, I did those things even more... which resulted in bigger hate. It goes on and on. I hated the way I lived my life. Hating myself made me hate a lot of things around me. It's easy to not be happy with everything else when you let yourself be unappy with one thing. And I know a lot of people who still live this way. When you live in this state, you wonder how anyone could ever love you... or how you could ever love yourself. It's exhausting really.

But, I love Jesus.. and the main reason I love Him is because He loved me first. I love because He did. If I'm to love the things He loves, I have to include myself in that. He commanded that we love Him with everything... and then for us to love others as ourselves. I used to think that was a way of saying that we have to think of others the way we think of ourselves. But the verse doesn't say to think of others as ourselves, it says to love others as ourselves.. If we're going to love others as ourselves, we have to love ourselves. God wants the very best for each one of us because that's how He loves us.

The relationship you have with others comes second to the relationship you have with God. Love Him with everything. Why? Because He loved us first. That relationship establishes that you are loved first.. So you love back. And then you love others the way that He has loved you.


All I'm trying to say here is that it's okay to love yourself. So give it a try.

I chose number two.

A little while ago, I posted a question asking people to tell me what sounded better for a chapter title. I gave two options and sat back. Then I asked a couple more times throughout the day.

The first choice was "Coffee Shops and Heartfelt Talks"

And the second choice was "Coffee, Cakes, and Creative Space"

There were a lot more votes for number one. I guess I found myself wondering why so many thought that sounded better, and I'm thinking it was the heartfelt talks part.

I ended up choosing the second one. I had thought up number one a good few weeks ago while I was working. I needed something catchy to connect and that just settled. But I think deep inside, I knew it wouldn't stick. I wasn't at peace with it. There are often times I'm set to do something and just can't think of what. Whether it's a gift for someone, a place to go, a talk to have, a book to write, or make a decision on something big. Usually I think up the things without the how and I'm stuck til something fits. If I'm at peace with it, I go with it. If I'm not at peace, I'll still make the decision based on the right thing to do. So with this, it just wasn't hitting that peace mark.

So, not long after I thought of number 2. I liked the way it rang better. I don't know why, it just did. But I was still undecided so I asked what would catch the peoples attention since they would be the audience and pay the money. And again, I wasn't at peace with the outcome. Actually, I was in a sense. Two people answered number 2. These two people are friends whose wisdom I've dove into. Two people who have shared vulnerabilities and weaknesses and still pointed to Jesus. Those two people are the ones whose input I would consider more than most. That's probably due to their wisdom more than anything. It's loving and gentle and stern and raw.

You see, you're going to come into contact with a lot of people. You'll be friends with a good bunch of them. But you also know who you trust and you know the reasons why. I liked that these two people chose the same things, but I trust them because they're not "yes" people. You know, the kind of people who agree with everything and jump with the crowd. I believe with all my heart that they would say no if they really didn't think it was a good idea. And not just the no.... the kind of no that comes with valid points. Discernment is an amazing thing. Make sure you have people that have it.

So when these two said option 2, I thought about it again and felt peace..... so I chose it. I also chose it because it fit more with what I was trying to say.

We all have choices to make.... some will be tough... some will be easy. Only you can decide what route to take sometimes.. but if you're going to listen to someone's input, make sure you're actually listening. Don't just listen to the yes people that go with what sounds good.... or what you like. Listen to the people who are honest... who are real... who are vulnerable. Who speak about what is right, not what you want to hear. Everything sounds good when said the right way, but that doesn't mean it is good.

Not that both of my titles were good or bad.. I'm just saying, there's a reason I make the choices I do sometimes. Just make sure yours are for the right reasons.

Some days at work are absolutely fantastic. The time goes by fast, I'm stowing way above what the expected rate is, and before I know it, it's just about time to go home. I love nights like that.

Last night was not like that. Time went by so slowly, and I was exhausted out of my mind. I worked third floor all night and the stairs were brutal. I only had to climb them four times all night, but still. I couldn't concentrate and cackled with my coworkers. You know that ridiculous kind of laugh that happens when you don't intend it to, but do so because you're just that tired? That was me. After the first half, I was debating on going home. I would have gotten a point for it, but it also would have put me out of the running for converting to being an actual Amazon employee instead of the staffing agecy. It was brutal.

I was already exhausted going into work at the start of my shift. When you live with four children who love to shout, slam doors when they go outside to play, and to bang on your door because they want something, you wake up a thousand times during your sleep making it a broken sleep. And working ten hours a night doesn't help.

But I finished my shift in full. I stayed until it was time to go home, fighting through the sleepiness and loopiness of it.... because I've gone to work tired before and made it through the shift. And because those four children are worth it. I moved back to my hometown for them...  everytime I visited, it was always met with being told they wanted me to spend the night for fifteen days. That was the original plan, but I barely knew the two year old and she didn't know me. I wanted to change that. I wanted to honor the occasional request to live with them by the eight and six year old. I didn't want to leave where I was living, but I love them more than I didn't want to leave. I had been there through the first three of being born and welcome to the family. They knew who I was. They love me. And I missed them terribly. So I made the decision to come back and spend some time with them before my next out of state living adventure.

I hope one day they can look back and see this gesture of how much they mean to me. But even if they don't, they're still worth it to me. The four year old is about to turn five. I'm twenty nine years and ten days older than her. In other words, I'm thirty years older than her. This is the first time I've been here to celebrate all four of their birthdays as they passed by. They're worth it. They're worth being woken up a thousand times a day because they're kids living they're adventurous lives.

I also have a love/hate relationship with the idea that sometimes they're dependant on me. I love it because I love having a role in their lives. I love that they love me; their aunt. I love that they all call me Juja even though they can say my name correctly.

But I hate that I fail them sometimes, and will fail. Like the two year old one day. I made her toast one day and sat her in her seat on the chair at the table. The table is a bit high and so are the chairs... and she couldn't exactly reach the table without her special seat. She could get in and out of it on her own as long as their is another chair right next to her. But that day I made her toast, there wasn't. I worked all night and was set to head off to bed after she sat to eat. I didn't think about her needing another chair to be able to get down. So I laid down. I was down for about twenty minutes when I started to wonder if she was able to get down. I figured I better go check, and there she was still sitting in her seat watching cartoons. Her sister, the four year old, wasn't big or strong enough to help her down, so she handed her her "banket". There she was in the seat with her blanket watching cartoons at the table.

Yes, I felt terrible. But I'm glad that I thought to make sure. If I hadn't, she would have been in that seat for a good few hours until her mom woke up; she worked the same shift as me. and fell asleep right away while I stayed awake to take the older two to school. Thank goodness the two year old still loved me after that. She doesn't count my failures or hold them against me. She won't throw in my face how I left her helpless. That's because she knows I love her. She knows that she can come to me when she's crying and I'll comfort her. She knows that when she wants to look at puppy pictures on my phone, we will look at them. She knows that I'll laugh at her when she's being funny. And she knows I'll play with her when she wants me to. I can't get away with so much from her older siblings at times, but still they all know it too for them.

Each of those four children know I love them. They have seen me fail them and they still love hanging out with me. It's a perfect picture of how God loves us. He sees our failures and still values us just the same. He delights in spending time with us. He makes everything worth it, because without Him, it's all meaningless.

So I will continue to work when I'm tired. Because at the end of the day, it's all worth it.

I've said before how you can tell a lot about a person by what others say about them. Initially, I said that in context to the relationship they have with that person... but recently, I was faced with thinking... what about when the others have been hurt? What would you say about someone else if they hurt you? What would they say if you hurt them?

Not long ago, a friendship of mine ended. A friend that I deeply care for is no longer a friend. It's the result of mistakes and hurtful words on both ends. And from that, I'm learning how to forgive all over again. I'm learning the process of letting go all over again. I'm learning what it means to pick up the pieces all over again. And no, it is never easy no matter how many times I do learn it.

Some things were said about me publicly... and some things were said about me privately to those close to me. And as much as I want to fight back and scream that no... that's not true.. or no, that's not the whole story... I find myself being silent. And yes I have vented.. yes I have cried. Yes, I have fought desperately the urge to blame myself... yes, I have replayed situations in my head trying to figure out what went wrong.. and yes, I find myself in moments of sadness over what has been lost.

But I still believe in the God of second chances because He's given me thousands. I believe that love still prevails. I believe that God knows the hearts of each side and is completely aware of everything. And I believe that He still redeems and restores. Because I believe, I am learning what it means to lay it all down at the foot of the cross.. because if I don't, anger and bitterness will root its way in. If I believe Jesus is who He says He is, I cannot have room in my heart for those things.

So I choose love. I choose to love even though I've been hurt. I choose to forgive even though I've been hurt. And I choose to have hope that these things will one day be extended out to me. I may have lost that friend.. but God still loves us both. God still offers grace to us both. And I believe He has the authority to guide each of our steps in picking up the pieces that have been shattered in both of our lives. I believe He still carries us both and has a plan for each of us..

So now I wait.. and now I trust.. and now I start over. I don't know what the future holds for me... but now, I choose to trust the One who does.

He still loves me.
He still loves her.
He still loves those we've hurt.
He still loves those who've hurt us.

It's an easy thing to tell someone there is beauty in brokenness when that is the place you find them. Sometimes it's easy to believe that when you are the one there.. but we yearn to hear that things will get better, or easier, or that something good is going to come from that place. We long for it because it hurts to be there. To be in a painful place is devastating. You're in a place where you have to unlearn a lot of things, and start to learn new ones. And in those painful places, hardly any of it looks beautiful, or feels like something good can come of it. 

I will be the first to tell you that I am full of mistakes. I am messy and ridiculous and chaotic and difficult and selfish. I am all that and more. I will never hide any of that. Some of you know these parts of me deeper than others... and some of you just know the surface. Either way, these are things you will always know about me. I don't hide it, and I don't because I believe in being vulnerable. To love is to be vulnerable. If I want my life to be that example, then I have to let you see the real me. It's always a scary thing that involves great risk... for anyone. 

I would be lying if I said it wasn't hard for me to trust God. I'd be lying if I didn't say there are times when I don't go to Him unless things are falling apart in my life. I'd be lying if I said I loved Him with my whole heart and mind and soul and strength. And I'd also be lying if I said I never prayed for these situations so I would remain close to Him. If there was ever a reason for me to have faith at all, it's because I know only He can mend the broken places in my life. It's because I know I can find perfect peace only in Him. It's because I know He is the author and creator and holds my life in His hands no matter how much I betray Him. It's because I know that He will never change His mind about me or love me any less no matter what I do. I'm thankful for that. I'm incredibly thankful for that. 

In light of recent events, I've learned that you just have to walk away sometimes. No matter how much you don't want to, sometimes you just have to. And when you do, you will see the result of that. Sometimes it will be good... and others it won't be. This time is the latter. It sucks. It hurts. It's unfair.... but it's necessary. 

My life is full of I don't understands, and I don't know what to dos, and I don't know what's going to happens. There probably hasn't been a long period of time where one of those things wasn't on my lips everyday. And right now, I will admit that it's hard to know that anything good can come of it. So I have to rely on what I know, and I know that God causes all things to work together for the good for those that love Him. And I know that His grace covers me completely. And because I know know what's going to happen, I have no choice but to trust Him. 

No, I am not playing victim here. I'm admitting that I make a lot of mistakes. I always will because sin is my nature. However, if I fail you, if I fail at all, if I do anything to disgrace your name.... it's always going to be followed with admitting that... and asking your forgiveness. It's not going to come without me believing the best in you as a whole.. and wanting the best for you.. and being by your side. I will fail at all of these sometimes.. If I choose to walk away, only you can decide the way you view me altogether. Only you can determine the role I have played in your life. 

But I will guarantee this, I will still run to you.. I will still wash your feet.. and clean your wounds.. and wipe your tears. Because I will still love you.. because first, God loves you. And because He chooses to use me for these things. 

So now, I wait. I wait to see what path I will follow. I wait to see what's going to happen. I don't know what the future holds.... but He does. And I choose to trust Him. 

What a beautifully trying month February was for me. It was one of heavy weight, and beautiful grace. It was a measure of how God's goodness shows up in the dark moments. We know that happens, but when it does, it leaves you in just as much awe and wonder as it did the first time.

In the beginning of the month, I was asked to leave my job. I was let go over a misunderstanding that I couldn't prove. I wasn't given a warning or a choice. And when I was given the chance to give an explanation, I couldn't even remember the situation. So after three and half years, I walked away from the company I worked for.

I couldn't say I was worried, because I believe in a good God who wouldn't leave me or forsake me. He's a provider and somehow, I've never been left without. But I can say it was a bit of a blow. That was the first job I knew I would never get a raise at, but still wanted to give my best. It taught me to step up and take initiative. I learned how to treat my job responsibly and looked at it in a different light. I knew that I didn't represent myself so I couldn't just do the job how I wanted. I had to do my best because it represented someone else. That's never easy to do because it requires laying down pride, which I'm full of so much of. I guess you can say my heart was a bit broken.

Needless to say, instead of letting the course run, I started to prepare for the worst. I didn't know what was going to happen, but before it did I was ready to go. I didn't want to, but I wasn't sure what to expect. I thought that being let go meant my roommate was going to be disappointed and want me to leave. Instead, the exact opposite happened. She offered to cover my part of the next months rent. Everything fell into place for me to stay put as the days rolled out.

Not only that, but friends stepped up and told me where to apply because they knew people. Here I was thinking I was on my own in this situation. It's never easy to let someone see you when you've been kicked down, but I think that's where we see the beauty of what grace and love looks like. My roommate didn't hesitate to start figuring something out right away. Here I was preparing for anything to happen, and there was my roommate working on what to do to help me out. Pure grace.

I also had friends step up and give me any kind of suggestion they could. They offered any kind of help just to ensure my stay in Las Vegas. Even though I have issues with staying in one place for too long, I have my goals and Vegas has such a tug on my heart.

But it wasn't too long after that I got called for another job. I still have a long way to go with reaching the level I had at Dunkin Donuts, but this job offers me more than I would have ever gotten while being at Dunkin. And by more I mean benefits, opportunities, discounts, and almost double the pay. I never would have expected that, but I am grateful.

It's been a month since this all started, and I'm still mesmerized by how good it truly was. Everybody says that when one door closes, another one opens. I don't necessarily believe that's true. I think sometimes doors close because the season for it being open is over. It doesn't always mean something awesome is around the corner. Sometimes, it simply means that we need to slow down. Sometimes it means we need to apply what we've learned. Sometimes it means that God wants us to remember Him and that He is God. If that were the path He gave me, I would have still believed He was good. That was my choice, and I had to make it. It's our choice and we have to be the ones to decide to believe He is still good when He shuts a door, or doesn't step in the rescue us from the fire. Sometimes, things happen.. and sometimes, things don't work out.

But in this situation, I can equate it to an answered prayer. A few weeks ago, I found myself crying out to Him.. asking Him to show me He still loves me. Not that I doubted Him, but I just wanted that reminder. I needed Him to let me know He still wanted me. And I begged Him to reveal that to me once again.

When I think about all that has happened this past month, I can't help but think of how beautifully trying it was. It was heavy and yet light. It was amazing to see Him work something for the good once again.

To me.. of all people, He worked good for me. If this example shows the kind of God I believe Him to be, then may He always put me in beautifully trying times.

The other day, I saw a post on instagram that had me thinking hardcore. So, I decided to write a blog about it. Actually, I decided to make a statement, and that statement is...

I will NOT apologize.

I will not apologize for standing by those who I disagree with or who have failed me. I have learned where my identity lies and that is all I need to keep standing by them when I feel I can't anymore.

I will not apologize for the timidity I feel when I am about to present something important to someone. It isn't the normal or mundane things that get remembered or stand out, it is the one of a kind out of the ordinary things that do.... and sometimes that is scary. Most of us don't care enough to want to make a difference or love someone so effectively, so we tend to brush it off and act like we don't care about what happens.

I will not apologize for the way I love my friends and speak of them. If the way you get to know them is through my words, then may you always know the very best of them.

I will not apologize for constantly promoting or talking about those I believe in. If there is something I see in you, it should not surprise you for me to see something in them. The only difference is, I may know you a bit better and the only interaction I may ever have with them is through social media.

I will not apologize for being excited about the ridiculous things in life... I know sometimes my enthusiasm for those such as Mackenzie Ziegler or The Glass Child or whoever I choose to support fully at the moment can be a bit much... but if some of you think of the way we became friends, this shouldn't be surprising because at some point, it was probably the same way toward you.

I will not apologize for sticking to my ways of what it means to be respectful. I've been told a few times that a few of these are things I am alone in. While that may be, I am okay with that. If I'm the only person to feel the way I do on certain things, at least I'll be remembered for them.

So why am I making this proclamation of not apologizing? Well, because the post I read mentioned something about being full of joy. We were created to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. We were created to live life to its full and experience joy to its full. We only get one chance in this life to celebrate eachother. We only get that one chance to leave our mark in this world. Most people I know don't care about that...... but I do. No, it's not because I want to be remembered... it's because I want to go out knowing that people knew I loved them and the things that mattered to them mattered to me. When you are fully open to things like that, you begin to experience what it means to have life at its potential.

What I will apologize for is not setting the example or living the life of a believer.... that the most important relationship in my life is not the most evident one.

And yet, Jesus loves me just as much as He ever did anyway. And because He loves me, I will not apologize for being different.

The other day, I was walking home from work thinking about a conversation I had with a friend. I kept going over the conversation again and again thinking about how hurtful a comment had been made toward me. And while this friend has been told that statements made of that kind of nature are the ones I have the hardest time being told. I'm sure we all have that one statement that makes us feel belittled and unappreciated... and if you're like me, it's the kind that throws you off your game and makes you question everything about yourself. I was given this not that long ago and it hit me just how hurtful it really is.

A lot of us usually let our identity take place in what others say about us. That was me for a lot of years. I let what people say turn me into what they were saying about me. Most of the time, it caused a lot of pain... not just for me but in my relationships. I accepted all the titles and labels that were given and wore them as my nametag. But when I was thinking about this recent statement, suddently the words came to mind,

        "No weapon that is formed against you will prosper"

The book of James tells us how the tongue is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. The more I think about it, the more I realize how true it is. It's not the harsh things in life that I've faced that haunt me today... it's the words that have been told to me. It's the names I've been called.. It's the irrational angered words that ring in my ears. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. According to James, our words are deadly. We can build up one day and tear down the next just by the things we say. How interesting is that. But while I was repeating the words the have been told to me all my life, and once more, the first part of that verse in Isaiah sent those words right out of my mind.

I started thinking about how if the tongue is a deadly poison, that makes it a deadly weapon. It's the most common weapon used, and everyone has one. Now I realize that that verse was written at a specific time for a specific purpose, but that doesn't mean that it still doesn't apply to me or you. The words of others do not add or subtract my value. It is the blood of Christ that gave me that value at the cross, and it covers my life from beginning to end. The same goes for you. We can accept these labels thrown at us, or we can choose to trust who He is. The One who gave His Son for us while we were sinners.... Whose Son gave us life with His own... The One who can never love us any less than the cross... The One who relentlessly pursues us when we walk away..

Or we can trust the words of broken, imperfect people in need of the very same grace.

You would think that a lifetime of relationships would  make one an expert, but it doesn't. If anything, the more I have, the more I realize how much I don't know. I've had acquaintances, friends, and best friends. Some are still in my life and others I've had to let go of. That's the way of life I suppose, but that's okay.


Anyone you let into your life will hurt you. I used to make the promise of never doing that, but I'm a liar if I can claim that I never will.


Here's the deal... any relationship you involve yourself with will be met with heartbreak and disappointment. But, don't let that stop you from letting people in. It is the response that will shine through.


One of my favorite relationships is one between a ten year old and her best friend. Now granted, all I see are the words and pictures, but those are enough to show the kind of friendship they have. The smiles are genuinely happy smiles and the words are full of love. That is the way I want to represent the relationships present in my life. I want people to see loving smiles and words full of love when they see me with others. I want to see people as the image of God; His creation.


There are few relationships in my life that are truly genuine. These friendships are ones that have seen me at some of my ugliest moments... some of my most vulnerable moments.... and some of my absolute worst moments. These moments are full of falling apart, spouting ugly words, and thinking the worst of thoughts. We've fallen into some heartbreaking places, but I am still welcomed and loved. I am still cared for and sought after. Even after those moments, time with these friends still bring me to life and stir my affections for Jesus. I can have a conversation about today, or one about what's truly digging at me and still feel just as loved and loving. I believe God designed us that way. In such a way that even though we are fallen and prone to hurt, we can still encounter life and beauty when we are in community with eachother.


That my friends, is the lesson for today.

This has been a post that has been a long time coming. I've been meaning to write about this for a while but, well I wanted to make sure that what I wrote was really how I felt and well, nothing has changed so here it is. I apologize first hand for blogging about something I post about often, and that is Dance Moms.

I know I know, it's ridiculous, but for some reason I happen to look into the deeper side of things. I always learn something from anything I engage in and, this show happens to be the recent one.

I first started watching this show because of Sia's Chandelier video. Before this video, I never knew this show existed or heard of Maddie Ziegler.. but seeing  this girl become a game changer in this world, of course that's going to get my attention. I love seeing people make their mark in this world, and I love it even more when I see them doing it through something they love. So of course, I started watching the show.. and as much as I love Maddie, it is her sister Mackenzie that I've become a fan of.

There are so many character qualities that I love about this show, as ridiculous as it is. I'm not sure how I can see these deep in meaningful qualities in the things I watch, but I'm glad I do.

First, I'm not a big fan of Christi, but I do love the way she loves Chloe. What I love to see about their relationship is that Christ doesn't make Chloe dance, nor is she willing to do whatever it takes to get her daughter ahead. In fact, Christi stands behind her daughter's passion and encourages it. I love to see that, and I think that plays a big factor in the way Chloe dances. If there is anything I love, it's to see someone encouraged in their passions.

When it comes to the girls, I love to see their dynamic with eachother. I see it a lot more in the earlier seasons, but I do still see it now. I think these girls show a lot of us believers up with how they love one another. They celebrate each other's achievements, and feel each other's pains. They are quick to rejoice with each other, quick to run and comfort one another, and quick to weep with one another. It's definitely something that challenges me to step up more and do with those around me. After all, it's biblical that we bear one another's burdens, weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice. These girls who have been on the show from the ages of 6-12 or so until 10-16 show the exact model of what this looks like.

For example, in one episode Nia is doing a solo. She ends up forgetting her dance and runs off stage where Maddie and Chloe run to her.. When Nia's mom runs over to her, Maddie grabs Nia's hand and runs her to her mom. In the audience, we see Mackenzie cry for her.. I love that scene so so so much because it's a display of what we should always be doing for each other. When one is hurting, we should be running them to the one that's going to comfort them... we should be running them to the source of peace and understanding.. and we should be empathizing and feeling it, too.  I definitely don't do the greatest job at it, and it's a great challenge for me to see this.

Another thing I love to see is Maddie watching Mackenzie dance. I love it because Maddie always has a huge smile watching her sister dance.. You see this a lot in the earlier seasons, but still... the fact that she can watch her sister with such love is an incredible thing to see. We as adults can learn a lot about that. On the other hand, anytime Maddie does a great job, Mackenzie always runs to her and gives her the biggest hug in the dressing room. I know they're sisters, but let's face it, how often do we actually see any relationships like this. Even now on the show and through social media, even though they do fight, I still see them encouraging and celebrating each other.

Now, there are many reasons I can give about loving Mackenzie, but the main thing is, everytime the group wins any kind of place, she is the first to jump up and go after the prize. I think that is exactly how we should be living our lives... leaping and chasing down the prize. In the end, the prize is going to be bigger and better than we ever could have expected even if it doesn't come in the place we hope. And because she does this, she makes me think of Peter... Peter was always leaping out of the boat to get to His prize... and His prize was Jesus. Even though His faith was shaky and denying, He was always the one to leap out of the boat to get to Jesus. That is exactly how I want to live... leaping out of the boat to chase after the prize when I see it right before me. Plus, Kenzie reminds me of my niece Anna.. and I'm thankful that there are young girls who set positive examples for girls like my niece.

So there you have it.. These are the reasons I love the show... I'm sure I'm always going to see something I cold learn about. As a believer, I'm always looking into the deeper side of things..

I had meant to write this blog before my friend had written about how messy love is. As much wisdom that her blog contained, I'm still going to share my thoughts even if they don't compare to hers.

I have a dear friend whose birthday is coming up. I've spent a lot of time wracking my brain on what I could do to celebrate her life. It hit me that I really love this friend. I've probably learned more about love through her friendship than any other.

Our friendship is not perfect. I get upset with her and she gets upset with me. We've both made mistakes. But it is these areas where I have learned that love does not have a capacity. It does not have limits. And love has no conditions.

I do because I am human. But excellent love does not.

To really know what love is capable of, you have to learn first that it is not easy. It's not meant to be because it is a choice, and it is a commandment. It is not in our nature even though we were created with it. But because we were created with it, we can choose to reflect what it really looks like. And my friend challenges me to do this.

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous, love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things hopes all things, endures all things"

That right there is from the bible and clearly states that love is not easy. Everything that it's about and that it's for and that it's against are things we all have to learn to do. I have failed showing what love looks like according to this description many many times. I'm sure I will many many more times.

But it is the very next line that keeps me wanting to show it... because it gives me hope. It keeps me going.. it keeps me wanting to love this particular friend even when I feel like I just can't anymore sometimes.

"Love never fails"

If there were anything I needed to believe about love, it's this. It doesn't fail when things are messy, dirty, chaotic, ridiculous, frustrating, hurtful, and circumstantial. It never fails and it transcends. And I learn this with the friendship I'm talking about.

I can speak words, bring gifts, do good, and give my insights...... but if these things are not backed up with love, it doesn't mean anything.

I guess the fact that it never fails is the reason why it's not easy, or in our nature. We will fail... but love never does and it's up to us to choose to reflect that.

Lately, my favorite words have been "it's not". Usually, this seems like an argument as to who knows better, but they've taken a new meaning for me. Mainly because of the awesome friendships I have. Some days I feel lonely and like I have nobody... selfish I know.. Especially since I know there are many people who love and care about me. But in the midst of this, I have grown so much more fond of the friendships I have. I'm constantly humbled by them.

So back into why I love the "it's not" phrase.

I don't know how many times I've felt so petty about letting certain things bother me. At least it feels petty. When I decide to be vulnerable and open up about something that hurt my feelings, it's hard. I don't like saying anything hurts my feelings. Maybe because I don't like the idea of being hurt, or looking like I've been hurt. So I tend to cover that up by saying it made me mad... or angry.. or pissed off.. or anything that will disguise the hurt.. And very rarely will I ever admit when something actually did hurt, or crush me. I mostly hated it because opening up meant that I would hear how everyone else gets hurt.. or how it could be worse.. or something to decrease me as an individual. I've learned not to approach others' hurt feelings with these suggestions. Mostly because it doesn't treat them as an individual who gets hurt..

So when I open up, I feel petty... or selfish.. or arrogant.. or like I have no right to feel the way I do. And that's why I say.. I say things like...

I know that's selfish..

I know that sounds arrogant

I know that's petty

And then there are those words, "it's not".

When I hear those, I feel like the friend I'm being vulnerable with is on my side.. they care about my feelings.. they care about what happened to me... and it matters to them. They are being the friend who listens to me, and who knows me, and understands that I was hurt. And it helps.

Maybe we should start putting those two words more into our vocabulary. If we care, we should let them know that their hurt feelings matter to us. Their pain moves us. Maybe we should start being that safe place for others to feel vulnerable because let's face it, we don't like to admit when we're hurt.

"It's not"

Those are the words that have created a safe place for me. May I do the same for others with these same words.

Why People Just Like You Can Be Dangerous

One of the wisest things I've ever done, was associated with people who are far more wise than I. Many times (more than I'd like to think about) this has been an amazing contribution to my relationships, my job, and my life. These things have been saved because of the loving yet sometimes harsh wisdom given to me by these friends. It's how I like it.

One of the most foolish things I've ever done, was rely on someone who was going through the same battle as me. This was me and my former best friend. When I was knee deep in self-injury, my best friend at the time was going through a different form of it. And we relied on each other to keep each other accountable.. Let's just say that only lasted so long. All it did was turn into a manipulative friendship full of lots of anger and resentment. We made a pact to not harm ourselves as long as the other didn't. But at that time, I still didn't understand that battles aren't something to just walk away from. That's why you struggle with it. You may have moments of weakness and fall, but when your accountability comes from someone struggling with the same things.... there are a couple things that could result from that..

1. Your friend will not give you the wisdom you need.. they will give you the words they want to hear.

2. Your friend will look at that as an enabler for themselves.

These things don't always happen, but in most of these situations I've seen, they have. There are always going to be people who don't understand what you're dealing with, and there are always going to be people who do. But if the people you are seeking wisdom from are not firm in a foundation, you really won't be getting the wisdom and accountability you need. Instead you get people who pour sugar over the wounds instead of helping to clean them.

This doesn't always pertain to just battles. If you only associate with people who are just like you, there is no room for growth. There is no room for new experiences. There really is no room for anything other than hearing the things you want to hear..

Most of my friends are completely opposite of me and I like that. Those friendships have turned into some of my greatest friendships. I'm constantly learning new things.. Things like gratefulness and appreciation. You really don't know how much you can be grateful or appreciate something or someone until you learn from it.

I'm not saying it's bad to have things in common... I'm just saying be careful. If you're not learning, you're not growing. And there is always room for that.